Life Without Style

I am so furious right now that I am studying… Wait, what?

Dear Cygnets,

I recall briefly mentioning once that Mom called home from work and told me to clean my room and the bathroom and I was so irritated that I did it all with increased efficiency. It’s just what I do when I am mad – I put that energy into work.

So, looking at the title of this post, you can tell this is worse.

At the beginning of the summer I was delighted to tell you all that I got a summer job and RZ told me that if I wanted to keep it for the rest of the year then I would have to work extra hard. And I did. The job gets a bit tiring this week as it is so, so busy, but I like it. So I was very very happy when my boss told me that I had earned the permanent job (just before sending me off to fit shoes for a family of four kids, all boys, one very tantrum-prone 2-year old) and remained happy for the rest of the evening.

So yes, very happy. Until dad hears about it and says at dinner that I can’t, as if I had to ask for his permission in the first place.

Mom also gives me an ultimatum: go to work or go to school (which cannot be possible to carry out because it is compulsory for me to stay in education until I am 18 which makes this totally unfair). Their reasoning? It would interfere with my studies. And we all know I don’t really do s*** at home and have no out-of-school social life. Plus at this part-time job they pay me better than my parents, it’s close to home as well as school (as opposed to being stuck at the nail salon for the entire day as it’s kinda far) and it is only 4ish hours a week (more during holidays). Those hours a week is just taken out of my internet time. Have I mentioned this? I am on my computer less and less now because I am out working at either the salon or at Clarks.

I drank my broth in silence and subsequently strolled out in fury. I pulled out my old school folders and started going over the A2 work we started in the summer – although I couldn’t see straight because I was crying. As of then I could tell you what the difference between a fundamental niche and realised niche is with relative confidence.

I know this can seem like a small and stupid thing to get mad over, but I feel like this small announcement completely undermines the work I have put in this summer.

I was still mad and felt like rebelling a bit against my healthy lifestyle changes. I stayed up until midnight (a habit I’ve been trying to break), and didn’t get up for the morning walk (it was also raining. I looked at my sister when the alarm went off, and we both said just that – ‘it’s raining’ and went straight back to sleep) and I didn’t even get up to go to work at the nail salon. And my dad had the nerve to ask me why later on as well as tell me to do extra chores. (This included taking out the laundry out to dry when the sky looked like it was going to spit in our faces).

Long story short, today is one of those days where the urge to move out is stronger than the urge to save money and live at home. Also I think I’d rather go to school than stay at home. I know, I know. I will try to negotiate with my boss as I am determined to keep this job, but… you know. I might have to leave it for holidays only.

Friends and Casual Readers, I am very tired. I will now excuse myself in favour of an early night.

Yours, with a Very Deep Sigh,


2 thoughts on “I am so furious right now that I am studying… Wait, what?”

  1. It’s okay to feel upset at this, because to you, it’s NOT a little thing. It was unfair of your parents to give you an ultimatum like that. You DESERVE to be happy.


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