I said I would post again once I was my perky self again. Only, it hasn’t really happened. I did feel good for a bit – independence, even if it meant cooking barely-edible food, was much welcomed.
Mom came back from America a few days ago, but in between our house having a gas leak and all this skincare promotion stuff as well as her going back to work at her salon, we’ve barely had more than 5 minutes together. She hasn’t even unpacked. She doesn’t know where my phone charger, that she borrowed when she left, is, and I’m getting sick of using the spare one with the tiny cable.
It’s the skincare promotion that is bugging me the most. (You would think that I would be excited about promoting skincare but this is not up my street.)
It means a handful of strangers coming over every night for my mom, my aunt (the one who put my scarf in the wash) and the house guest to rave about this skincare brand and persuade people to join them.
It means reverting back to using my earbuds to sleep – recently, I’ve been trying to sleep without them which is alright when you’re constantly exhausted, like me – because these gatherings last until midnight.
It means my parents ordering Vietnamese food from elsewhere because they can’t cook for us anymore. If they had ingredients I would cook myself. We’re out of eggs and eggs are my thing.
Also, the house guest is sleeping in my brother’s room so Derp himself is staying in my room for the time being, sleeping in the gap between my bed and Twerp’s bed. He’s annoying, but he also makes me laugh which is most welcome (don’t tell him I said that), especially in these dark, dark times.
I’m still trying to be nice about this, mostly by avoiding anything to do with this skincare stuff altogether. But my mom gave me her skincare business cards and my dad told me off for not lending my aunt (the one who put my hand-knitted scarf in the wash and reduced it to a piece of felt) some pens (that I was saving for my exams and that I bought with my own money and that I didn’t lend because I KNEW it was for this skincare stuff which I thought was clear I wasn’t on board with) and I just kind of went along with it. I really don’t want to be doing this anymore – you know – this semi-pretending. It’s draining.
I also think I really need to see a doctor about my mental health, but T, who has the same GP as me, warned me that they might not be entirely helpful. But I do need to do something about the 5+ breakdowns I’ve had in the last month or so, because if there’s anything I’m not sure of, it’s that this isn’t normal.
So I will stop posting spontaneous personal life posts for the time being. You will still get posts like my updates on Inktober and some of my own skincare stuff, but if I can’t be a little positive then you won’t see me for a while.
Bye bye for now,
P.S. I recommended an early night to myself but at the same time I have chemistry to do (the assessment went horribly and I’m preparing for the worst by preparing for the next one). It’s been so hard to concentrate recently.